kandi OD

somewhere out there is a beat waiting for me...
waiting for my ears to be graced by its sweet melody...
pop, disco, ska, jazz, techno, chill...
whatever...
i wait for it like the fisherman's wife on a shore...
it beckons for me like the new club's dance floor...

makin' love

be a spendthrift in love!

love is the one treasure that multiplies by division. it is the one gift that grows bigger the more you take from it. it is the one business in which it pays to be an absolute spendthrift; give it away, throw it away, splash it over, empty your pockets, shake the basket, turn the glass upside down, and tomorrow you will have more than ever.

~anonymous

quote...

Oprah on supposedly getting upset over not being able to buy a purse...

"(oh please) I didn't get to be this old to be that stupid!"

food for thought...

a smile costs nothing but creates much. it enriches those who receive without impoverishing those who give. it happens in a flash and the memory of it sometimes lasts forever. none are so rich they can get along without it and none so poor but both are richer for its benefits. it creates happiness in the home, fosters good will in a business, and is the countersign of friends. it is rest to the weary, daylight to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad, and nature's best antidote for trouble. yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something that is no earthly good to anybody until it is given away. nobody needs a smile so much as those who have none left to give.

Song of The Week

there's nothing more inviting than the rhythm of world beat-ish music... pop all the remixes in the hood, and i can still bob my head all night like a dashboard icon on steroids... honestly, Bob Sinclar is just a genius... with a melody so fresh you just can't help but tap your feet and a message so nice... it's feel good all the way for any dance-a-holic in the house...


Love Generation (Original Mix)
by Bob Sinclair


i can just do this all night... (bum bum humming and whistling)

multiply good times fab-fold

ya came in around witching hour...
the beat was pumping...
the house was rocking...
and everywhere there was a drink in hand...
animated talks took place...




not even two drinks into the night and you're already seeing double? heehee!

the spongebob twins... non-identical, that is...



and there are friends whom you see only every so often...
but boy, talk about one continuous block...
another all-nighter is not as much a choice...
as it is a tradition...

weeee! more drinks for everyone!!!

if i had a buck for every happy thought...
for every spark of fun...
and every giggle-guffaw frame from this night...
i'd be filthy rich by now...

okay... meet the new housemates... hahaha!
go and count them... 12 and a half... hehehe!
what you need is a real digital cam to get all
of these guys in the frame...

there's really no better way to start the day...
than going to the waterfront...
early in the weekend morn'...
with your cowboy hat on...

it's like making my rounds during a wedding reception... hehehe!
here's an idea...
why don't we all go for a swim?
ugh... sure... when hell freezes over. hahaha!















okay okay... swimming's a bad idea...
let's go for a leisurely bike ride instead...
hehehe!
















yeah... or we could just take pictures the whole day huh? hahahaha!

i told Curting he should think about starting a modelling career...

"if a man could mount to heaven and survey the mighty universe,
his admiration of its beauties would be much diminished,
unless he had someone to share in his pleasure..."
~ Cicero

my ode to music

dance fever's got a grip on me
swinging my booty to groove's eternity
music's in twilight with me
dancing forever and free
close my eyes
open my heart
raise my hands to disco heaven
ethereal beat hear me singin'

rustic life

when i used to take biology in one of the universities in the old manila area, i learned that iron (Fe) is one of the elements that make up our body's chemical composition... one of what makes our lives go on, if you will... simply put, iron is one of the building blocks of life... but nobody said about irony being in the same class...

whoa! hell'a miracle!

behold!!!
he who watches over us has spoken!

(click and magnify photo for closer observation)

within the hours of 4:45 and 5:15, one of Fab's most intriguing members has descended from the cosmos and frolicked with man... when asked why he barely says anything, his reply is as elementary as they come...

(click and magnify photo for closer observation)

now... wasn't nora aunor saying something about miracles? in yo' face grandma! hehehe!

Song of The Week

here's another beat that grants my feet wings... my soul, groove... and my heart, mirth.
off the divine collection that we all know as Hed Kandi, my music never was and will ever be the same again...


It's You It's Me (Original Mix)
by Kaskade

the good times start with the music in mind

bits and pieces of nights and early morn's that came my way...
and will stay emblazoned in my mind... my heart... ney, my soul...

yipes! talk about being a positive influence to minors! heehee! ranj! jollibee's a kid!
well, technically he's about 28 years old... but... still! hehehe!

now... as if one influence isn't enough... hehehe! you had to bring in the resident class act! :) jollibee's been vandalized! heehee!

at least khiddo's takin' a breather from the booze... (that's a spoonful of rocky road and cookies & cream ice cream ladies and gents)

you know, you kids better be at yer best behavior... less you want charlie's angels kickin' yo' asses! hehehe! piijii and john ed ought'a make sure of that! wait... i thought there were three?

where's the other one?

owh! there ya go... curting on the solo model-undercover-agent-ass-kickin'-debonair-pose...

now here's another dynamic threesome that can be more of a match for the angels... either that or they're the same people... only they're in disguise. heehee! kidding!
here with 2 of the avatars, rainbow on the left and ramde on the right. :)
(note to self: next time take pictures where there's enough light to not make you look like miniature photo mosaic... hehe!)

well, these guys have got it right...
why settle for three when there can be four? heehee!
(L to R) drake, khiddo, piijii, and john ed feel the rhythm of the night under a black light... :)

another formidable foursome enduring the night, awaiting breaking dawn's first light... (L to R) drake, piijii, john ed, and bench8. :)

somebody quote me on this one...

"Look to the horizon of bright hues and tell me we'll fly together on this multi-colored cruise... we dance to the beat and drink to the night, love's stronger in numbers be it pink or white!"

Fab Guild Awarding Guidelines

PREAMBLE

In the unorthodox method and effort to maintain the spirit of goodwill and camaraderie in our online community, the guild has developed a set of provisions applying to all individuals in our online community.

It should not be assumed that these provisions are meant for other than what is in plain text, nor shall they be seen as prejudiced merits or demerits crafted only to serve the best interest of those in the guild. It is the utmost concern of the guild to promote nothing more than the mending/strengthening of whatever bonds there may be in the online community, and as such has employed humor in as an aid in this campaign.

For Pride and Country…

AWARDS GUILD RULES, REGULATIONS, AND GUIDELINES:

I. By virtue of the patent on the titles and distinctions that this body has produced, any future claims, complaints, and/or objections for receiving such nominations should and must be taken up directly with members of the guild/board; and as such, should not be not be discussed in any manner outside the parameters of this online community for any purposes, notwithstanding personal reasons or effects.

1. Awards of merit or demerit are given (insert defined time period here) to honor outstanding achievements within the pre-defined social interactions of the Fab online community.
   
2. Awards are conferred at an agreed upon time coordinates otherwise known as the presentation and awarding ceremony.
   
3. Special awards shall be given at such times that the guild deems an individual/ a group deserving recipients, but are not necessarily given on a regular basis.

II. Categorically, all resulting tallies and decisions are under the ruling of the guild, and is beyond contestation of any form; be it within the online community or outside the parameters defined in guideline I, in any form or medium, irregardless of purpose, shall and will not be tolerated and will be dealt with accordingly with appropriate force and/or penalty.

1. Eligibility for an award is solely decided upon by the guild.
   
2. Eligibility for all awards shall first be determined by credits as they interact with other individuals/groups in the online community.
   
3. In the event of any dispute concerning credits, the guild reserves the right to declare any achievement ineligible, or alternatively, reject all claims to credit, list credit as being in controversy, and withhold any award until the dispute is settled.

III. For the record and above anything else, the disclaimer provided for these awards are to be kept in conviction at all times. In the spirit of fun, fab, and pride, concerned individuals are allowed equal rights to redress their grievances in the manner pre-defined in the aforementioned guidelines.


>> most provisions adapted from the Academy Of Motion Pictures Arts And Sciences Official Regulations

letters to africa...

dear africa,


i'm looking for Aslan... it's like everything's crumbling down... and no one can do anything to prevent it. no bond is without its trials... but this is hard toil for what is founded on bytes and a few cocktails. you can wear your smiles, but that can only take you as far... and you cannot smile as sweet, knowing everything's on the tip of a double edged knife. now, your playground has become your pain and pleasure... everything's on the line... and the only way to save it all is the same thing that they consider taboo. would you do anything, just about anything, for your family? Aslan did... and i would too... the stone table awaits...

Song of The Week

in the tradition that is listening to music...

Song of The Week will now be appearing in quEEr-tEssEntial-izationE as it does
on My So Called---Angst...

to start off, here's a cut from Tokyo Project Presents: The Collection...

Love's Just Found Me (Morjac Extended Mix)

The Montanas featuring Rita Campbell

a feel-good beat that lives up to the name of Hed Kandi and the sweet sound of disco electronica that we have come to love unconditionally... the chorus line goes something like, "... oooh, i think that love just found me... and now, it's all excited around me..." need i say more? get of yo' ass soul-sister and get yerself a copy (however way you acquire it is completely up to you)

bitchy dog bark

you just can't win... here you are, middle ground and all... still, nowhere near what you seek that eludes you, even your own desire. and, is it just you or is that big scarlet letter more than just a repulsive mark on your forehead? you're like a walking emo time bomb waiting for the appropriate trigger... not even your detonation is given reprieve.

Sonnet XVII (100 Love Sonnets, 1960, Pablo Neruda)

I don't love you as if you were the salt-rose, topaz
or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:
I love you as certain dark things are loved,
secretly, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that doesn't bloom and carries
hidden within itself the light of those flowers,
and thanks to your love, darkly in my body
lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you simply, without problems or pride:
I love you in this way because I don't know any other way of loving
but this, in which there is no I or you,
so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand,
so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close.

blindside eye candy poem

when was the last time

you uttered a word-so fragile

that you can only whisper it and no more?

when was the last time

you stopped to see the birds chasing each other--

against the infinite blue sky?

do you remember? do you recall these moments?

i don't...

but it doesn't matter now.

not now... now, that i'm walkin' on sunshine.

now, that i have turned myself into the wind.

now, that i am but a feather in mid-air.

certainly, no...

not now, that he has returned my advances-- more than a year in pending.

better late than never, they always say.

but, he is not late... he is precisely when and where he ought to be when he means to.

he is no wizard or magician nor conjurer of sorts.

but he certainly translates well, enough to reel many.

the recipe to falling in love

(unearthed from the archives of My So Called---Angst)

if you are one who dares to search for THE one, then it might be plausible to spice up your love hunt and in the process, avoid any bland outcomes...

you start off with a fresh batch of men... the most appetizing produce of the farm, and God's gift to women (gay men, for this particular case). select wisely and sensibly. good men are plump... soft to the touch, clean, ripe enough, and generate high levels of endorphins in you when you get a whiff of their scent. generally, these are standards used in picking good men. but, you may still have other qualities in mind... say, you're more inclined to getting the tall, dark, and handsome kind. (that's okay) there's also the fair skinned head turner, the average height chinito, the suave brunette, sophisticated red head, dreamy blue eyed blonde, or (my favorite) the lean, younger, shaved head, bohemian. whatever your preference is, get them early before they run out of stock.

now, let's talk preparation... the best way to prepare them is, the friendly set up. common friend introduces guy and then you and guy click. easy to prepare. but there's also the direct approach... say-- you see guy, introduce yourself, you meet guy, you ask guy out, and you click. a bit tricky with the introduction part, but it still falls under the DIY section. after preparing them, decide how you want them... rare, medium, or well done? like saying... one night stand, fling, or relationship material. you can never say how this will turn out. because the thing with every recipe, is that there's always an uncontrolled ingredient... emotions.

that-- however you measure everything else down to the last cubic drop... emotions will and always be the deciding factor of your end product. a one night stand can easily turn out into a fling if both parties entertain the idea that they like each other. and a fling may abruptly end, either due to outside forces or mutual decisions. a relationship on the other hand, requires the most work... let's say, you have a mutual understanding with the guy. you still have to add a few herbs and flavors to maintain the flame of attraction. it is always best to sprinkle this with a pinch of suspense, a dash of excitement, half a cup of endearment, a spoonfull of sweetness, an ounce of spontaneity, tossed with respect, trust, and care... and seasoned with a generous amount of love to taste. remember to stir vigorously.

once ingredients are mixed in equal proportions, set aside for at least a day and select cooking method for desired results. there's baking, frying, boiling, steaming, or even preserving. and if you're the adventurous type, how about jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire? flambe style...

the wedding date principle

(unearthed from the archives of My So Called---Angst)

would you believe me if i told you, that every woman (and man, for that matter) has the exact love life that she/he wants? well... pragmatically, i think and feel that it's a logical statement. you see... we have control of our lives, and quite frankly, that's reason enough... to have exactly what we want, that is. and yet... we still hear people complaining. well, then why?

maybe, just maybe... because it is human nature to ask for more... be insatiable... and not content with what they have. we'd hear unfulfilled bits and pieces of a dangling relationship... much of which is, a paramount list of shortcomings of the significant other. the resentment, frustration, and loathing builds up. only for either one to realize, that what they have is actually so much more than what they wanted to begin with... and this realization usually descends upon them at the point when it is either too late, or it's make or break time.

now... before you say, it's not working, take time to truly look at what you have, and not just see the object of your discontentment. (good lord! mirror please!!!) easier said than done, i know... but that's the unadulterated truth of it. you manifest, only what you want... and you may not know it. but... you already have what you want, you just have to open your eyes and look.

excerpt from, single and fabulous?

(unearthed from the archives of My So Called---Angst)

i have always been known as the person who never misses out on things. whether they be social gatherings, latest trends or for this matter... romance. but if there's one true thing that i know about myself, it's that i'm not exactly the person other people think that i am. i could be missing out on some of life's coolest events and i wouldn't know it myself.

now... let's discuss romance. have i been missing out? or have i just not found the right guy? not THE right guy. just, RIGHT now anyway. but, seriously... i'm in a major slump here. and if it weren't for my mind blowing sexual episode with my fuck buddy a couple of nights ago, then i'd be a major loser! i'm saying loser, in the context of me supposed to be not being a loser. in all honesty... i haven't had a steady boyfriend in all my life. it's always been me chasing after someone, or playing hide and seek, or just getting laid... but it's all either daunting or empty... i mean, the sex is great and all, but i'm looking for somethin' greater than that. and i may have a potential candidate in one kid, (no! not who you're thinking!) but with the way we got started, makes me think twice about his real standing.

that's me... the guy who's not supposed to have missed out on anything... and this is me, the guy who's not exactly the guy who's not supposed to have missed out on anything. (try reading that last phrase again, it's a mouthful) i once told a friend that i'm still waiting for the right guy, but you and i both know better... it's a big fat lie. and now, i stand somewhere between single and fabulous, question mark... and single and fabulous, period. what if i'm just telling myself this? what if i'm not even fabulous? what if i am, just... single. period.

the fine art of social climbing (a modern gay/girl/guy's guide to living the good life)

(unearthed from the archives of My So Called---Angst)

have you ever found yourself in the middle of a crossroads? smack right down at the center of average and loser boulevard? then welcome to the club! Okay, so maybe the job description was a little harsh, let's just say this is how you feel sometimes. it may be undeniable that you're fabulous on your own... but when left to your own devices, you find yourself a bit, how do you say-- helpless and incompetent. a catch, nevertheless a half pint. so, if this seems familiar territory to you, hit the checklists just so you don't steer off the path to living the life you want and deserve.

let's see... they say, those who can't do, teach. if this is the case... then, resolve that, if you can't be that person, befriend that person. a shameful act, but someone's gotta do it... say, if you're not pretty or (for that matter) good-looking, have a friend that is... even better, friends that are. if you're not rich, have a friend/s that is/are. not smart? recruit some child prodigy. mediocre on the arts? (such as painting, dance, sculpture, music, performing arts) then link yourself with some artistes. think of it as your own little investment of friends and consider yourself just as rich, you know what they say about a person who has many friends.

i have always been amused by the phenomenon of having friends in high places. you can breeze through all the hoopla bullshit and reap what others sow. and while it is nice to have friends in high places, never forget that it is the little people who get the work done. and if all else doesn't get you the glitteratti life that you're aiming for... then it's time to work on your own act. start with your social skills; be a people person-- that someone who knows everyone and whom everyone runs to. plus, being genuinely nice won't hurt either... if you can make this first step, it all just goes snowballing from there. live the carefree life, and always remember to cleanse... exfoliate... and moisturize...

my life is a cake...

(unearthed from the archives of My So Called---Angst)

compared to being a box of chocolates, i have layers. and i don't like surprises, that's why i don't like the "you-never-know-what-you're-gonna-get" part either... my icing. pretty as can be. and the part that gets the most attention. there's usually something about me that people tend to focus on. it maybe physical, or not... and sometimes picking on that icing too much doesn't do much justice to my cake. sometimes, i feel that's all they see. (whatever it is that they do see) how 'bout takin' a bite out of the whole package here, eh? for acquaintances, it's the money. for friends, it's the hair, or skin. for other gay friends, it's the voice. for high school friends, it's the hair, the skin, and the money. my cake, bareth art thou...

now, the cake. my cake. never was it fun to eat the cake without icing. i can be like that sometimes, to other people. take out what they see, and i do not exist. just a bland cake in the table, not to be touched-- much less eaten.

the special filling... this... now this... only a few people appreciate, or even get. sometimes, they see something extra. and that's what makes eating the cake worth it...

the bottom of the cake... only a few people settle for this part. sometimes they're the same ones who get and appreciate the special filling. and, these people, are the ones that see the cake for what it is... nothing more than a pastry, designed to get attention, stimulate interest and desire... and finally, induce action to eat it. something desired, yet easily forgotten. made for all, but only a few can truly appreciate. not for the taste, not for the icing, nor for the presentation... but for the wholeness, that makes a cake a product of passion, designed to please anyone who so does cross paths with it... my cake. my life...

how to fall in love with MR. WRONG...

(unearthed from the archives of My So Called---Angst)

have you ever had the deepest feelings towards a guy, but it seems that the whole universe is united in the plot to completely separate you from him? well... join the club! every once in a while, you meet this one guy that you're just so into... he's charming, has a great sense of humor, sweet, and least to say of all, totally cute! but then, there's one minor detail that you're missing, or even, ignoring... he's unavailable! he could be married, seeing someone, has a girlfriend already, or even worse... gay! now, the hunt for elusive Mr. RIGHT seems to be leading you to an unexpected dead end, hence, you end up with Mr. WRONG.

it's not uncommon for women, and even for gay men to be in such a predicament... after all, life is the implicit, understated, quest for a few good men. the trouble is... why do we always end up with not-so-good men? he could be picture perfect, but has trouble committing. he could be charming, at the same time, can be a total jerk. then there's the, let's admit it, reject package... a perfectly good man on the inside, but a let down on the outside... physically unattractive. now, the latter is negotiable. but with the two mentioned earlier, how could you have not seen it coming? but wait, you still have incentives that come with that... say, you hit it off, tripped the moonlight fandango... the works... and out of nowhere... surprise! i'm married... with three kids, i might add... where did you go wrong, woman? for gay men, it's easier to handle this... the downside? getting your heart broken easier as well... we have to admit it... sooner or later he'll have to leave you and give his undivided attention to his family... it's usually the, "later" that hurts most... that after the roller coaster of days and nights that you and he have been together, after getting so close, and after you've finally learned to love him... then you have to learn to let him go... it's unfair, i know... but that is reality, when you try to live out fiction...

so, how do you prevent your heart from being shattered into a million and one pieces? here are some tell-tale signs that your hubby is not-so-rightie... you are so attracted to him... he has a girlfriend, or a boyfriend, and you could care less... you pour out your feelings for him, and he could care less... he seems to be avoiding you, or anyone that he knows knows you... also avoids anyone who asks him if he knows you... he's someone you seldom see, or if you see him almost all the time, he's not that hospitable... he tells you about his significant other, or he doesn't tell you, because he could care less about you... he doesn't return any of your calls or text messages... he doesn't give his number... he doesn't add you to his friendster (or fabuloush or downelink) list... he's straight, or gay (for either case)... you don't have anything in common, or you do but it's just because you're faking it... you know that he's bad for you, or that you're bad for him... you cry because of him but for no apparent reason... you do not understand him, and literally as well... he's about 5 years younger, or older... he doesn't want to meet your friends, or he doesn't want you to meet his... you have a hard time getting along with his friends, or you don't, but it's just because you're such a human doormat... his friends don't like you, or yours don't like him... you constantly ask his friends things about him because he doesn't tell you a thing... he told you from the start that he just wants to be friends... worse, he doesn't even want to be your friend... there are a lot more signs to help you decode the Mr. WRONG identity... but these are the ones that i am most familiar with... and in case you're wondering, how can you really tell? well, it's about time to open your pretty little eyes and smell the coffee sistah!

the first step is to deny yourself of denial... if this has happened to you, not one too many times... then maybe you just have to say to and for yourself, "i'm a magnet for unavailable men"... but fear not dear lover... rest assured that there is someone for everyone... maybe you just haven't found him yet... maybe he got lost, and is just too stupid to ask for directions... whatever the case... the real challenge is to turn Mr. WRONG to Mr. RIGHT...

the dog who saw a rainbow

i am so allergic to everyone right now... what happened to me? when? where? and more importantly, how? i don't think i've done disappearing acts before... at least not on a wide scale. i'm missing something... but, what? could it be that i long to be spoken for once again? or has being just another faceless marionette grown tiring? it's not just the romance scene that's in a rut though... anti-social best describes me right now. i don't wanna be with my friends nor my future pals. and as clear as a church bell, i hear it on a cold, windy night... i need to get laid, the wind so talks.