*

Tonight, Tonight, Tonight

2007-02-01T16:08:00.000+08:00

Woke up with yawning, it's dawning
I'm still alive
Turned on my radio to start up new day
As goddamn DJ's chattered how to survive
Amazing news got over on the air wave

Tonight, love is rationed
Tonight, across the nation
Tonight, love infects worldwide
Almost another day

She's a shooting star, good night good night
She's a shooting star, good bye
Tonight, love is rationed
Tonight, across the nation
Tonight, love infects worldwide

Almost another day
See you some other day

by Beat Crusaders

on the 9th...

2006-11-20T15:08:00.001+08:00

On the 9th Day of Christmas my true love gave to me...

Nine Ponies Prancing!
bwahahaha!

Pony Mania

2006-10-11T13:52:00.000+08:00

my babies...

Love Stat

2006-10-10T12:04:00.000+08:00

"and what of love? most of the time, 'tis a welcome breeze; a much needed refreshment for a weary soul. other times, a conundrum... pre-occupying the mind more than the heart. but, more often than most, it is a trojan horse. not necessarily devastating nor false... but begs rhetorically, 'still better to have loved & lost than never at all?' ever after... is but a minority with mythical proportions."

~the Poking Penguin-turned-Pony

Harmonic Resonance of A Heartbreak

2006-10-08T15:20:00.000+08:00

a shrill, echoes in the unholiest of hours.
like a diamond needle, it pierces through my heart...
with nothing but the taps on black keys and a murmur,
colored worlds of infinite possibilities, hither depart.

a consuming ripple...
thus, the world within a world
is thrown into spiraling destruction.
though to man, unheard and unfelt,
barely rattling a teaspoon
in a cup of one's emotion.

a heartbreak...
may be resounding ---as the hills of music,
or subtle ---as a feather's flight...
but, loves that are lost even before being found:
unmentionable exploits in the dead of night.

bring it all back to you

2006-10-08T15:18:00.000+08:00

it's true...
what goes around, comes around.

then comes back around again, and stops at you...

and like everything else in the great scheme of things...
true lessons can never be taught, only learned.

Per iL Mio Muse... Cor Ad Cor Loquitur

2006-10-08T04:26:00.000+08:00

"Vastness Expanding"

if love were a great ocean...
you shall be the waves that fade into the shore, and i, the sand...

yours is a perpetual motion...
with every return, kissing the beach as passionately as the one before the other...
and the sand, as welcoming with each visit.

you shall whisper to me, secrets...
of those beyond the horizon.
that which no seafarer, no fish, nor mer-creature will have ever known...

and the sand shall be amazed...
wide-eyed and eager with every story that the wave brings with him.

the wave shall be the sand's tenant... and the sand, the wave's caretaker.

with none but themselves to offer the other...
the sand's warmth and wave's reassurance,
enough to last for another lifetime together.

Per iL Mio Muse... Ad Libitum

2006-10-08T04:21:00.000+08:00

"Spring A Year Early"

my heart is singin' a song...
God knows i haven't felt like this for so long...
and the nights seem brighter than any day,
now that you have finally come my way...
my heart is wearin' a smile,
whenever i see you, even for just a little while...
and i just feel so happy, just filled with so much glee
even though you don't know what it is that you do to me...

Green Eyes

2006-10-04T14:23:00.000+08:00

(green eyes... green eyes...)

here we are, as close as we can get
we’re in too deep, it cannot be forgotten
this is more than curiousity...

your embrace did amaze me from the very start
get closer 'til i hear the rhythm of your heart
you make a hard attack...

no matter where, you get always in my head
and in your lip lies paradise.
it’s not a matter of resistin'...
it’s just a matter of existin' with green eyes.

this lust is a hell-machine
devil's voice and gasoline...
and i want you more than anything
this lust is a hell-machine!

(green eyes... green eyes...)

get upset when i’m breathin' in your pheromones
this desire is a curse and i want it more and more
it’s all i’m livin' for...

when i dream it’s of you
about your lips and hands
when i wake it’s a punishment i know that i deserve
it’s tearin' on my nerves...

no matter where, you get always in my head
and in your lip lies paradise
it's not a matter of resistin'...
it's just a matter of existin' with green eyes.

this lust is a hell-machine
devil's voice and gasoline...
and i want you more than anything
this lust is a hell-machine!

(green eyes... green eyes...)

no matter where the feelin's always there
and in your lip lies paradise!
it's not a matter of resistin'...
it's just a matter of existin' with green eyes.

this lust is a hell-machine
devil's voice and gasoline...
and i want you more than anything
this lust is a hell-machine!

(green eyes... green eyes...)

(green eyes... green eyes...)

get Green Eyes here

Memories In The Rain

2006-10-04T14:16:00.000+08:00

more Captionaries here

Intensity

2006-10-04T04:17:00.000+08:00

it hits...
like a storm, it touches down.
with all the might that it can muster...
upon the consciousness of another.

and just as sudden...
it will mellow, like a taming inferno.
when all at last it has exhausted...
the fuel of passion that remains unrequited.

this is how i love thee...
white-hot starfire burning, fading just as quickly.

Per iL Mio Muse...

2006-10-03T12:13:00.000+08:00

"Epilogue: Question Mark"

it figures... everywhere, there was a sign.
the alchemist in me should'a seen the traceable line.

To Another Shore, i saw once more,
with transforming-as-she-spins...
but could not recall from where,
Diana's piece is for the Viking Prince.

'til there was you... then, i knew!
The Rime Of The Ancient Mariner.

Per iL Mio Muse... (overdue)

2006-10-03T02:03:00.000+08:00

"Contact"

tonight, i shall happily lay my head down to sleep...
within my eyes, a smile,
knowing that i got close to you the way i did.
i have neither the courage to make my intentions be known...
nor the heart to hurt you, should what we will have had be forlorn.
only the curiousity of a boy that now in me wonders...
how heaven would taste like with those sweet lips of yours.

let us all... Rise!

2006-09-18T03:59:00.000+08:00

Den Standhaftige Tinsoldat

probably the only 3 Danish words i will ever come to know... it is one of Hans Christian Andersen's many beautiful works, The Steadfast Tin Soldier.

this fairy tale is about a one-legged tin soldier, who falls in love at first sight with a beautiful paper-doll ballerina. the ballerina's leg was lifted so high up in the air that the tin soldier could not find it and thought that she too had only one leg.

the story, like many other great tales of love, progresses with the tin soldier battling with all odds just to be reunited with his love... finding himself almost helpless, as he involuntarily sets out on a hard rain cruise in the outside world.

from swirling, murky, underground sub-urban waters, corrupt sewer rats, and giant fish who do not chew their food, the tin soldier manages to get back home, shaken yet relatively unscathed, to his beloved ballerina. but just when everything seemed to be okay, the child who owned the tin soldier suddenly snatched him and for no reason whatsoever, threw him into the fireplace, sending him into a blazing grave. remaining steadfast, he could only look with the saddest eyes at his beautiful ballerina, as she at him. fate, how ever twisted it may be at times, has a way of making things happen... a swift breeze sweeps the ballerina off her one-legged stance and straight into the fire she went, reunited with her brave tin soldier.

the day after, when the ashes of the fireplace were being cleaned, found was an obviously melted object, made of tin... in the shape of a little heart.

Hans Christian Andersen's works include: Thumbelina, The Little Mermaid, The Princess & The Pea, The Ugly Duckling, The Emperor's New Clothes, and many more. truly, he is one of most celebrated authors in Denmark, if not in the world. evidenced by the celebration of his 200th year birthday in Copenhagen's Parken National Stadium on the 2nd of April in 2005... the grandest of shows that included attendees such as the Danish & English royalty, and ambassadors from all over the globe.

the celebration, of course, would not be complete without an A-list line up of artists to perform and honor the memory of Hans Christian Andersen...

and that includes Safri Duo, who did their own interpretation of Den Standhaftige Tinsoldat with one of their songs, Rise (Leave Me Alone) which features Clark Anderson on vocals...

and which also happens to be one of my FAVORITE songs!
so, go figure... hehehe!

RISE Here

Per iL Mio Muse

2006-09-13T11:20:00.000+08:00

Holiday in Your Arms

there once was a boy,
who thought he'd seen it all...

'til he saw you and said,
you felt like white christmas morn'.

he excitedly unfastened his presents, boxed-up...
and words sprung once again from his almost-empty cup.

there was no christmas tree, no tinsel, nor fancy lanterns lit...
there was only you in his eyes, and that alone, for him was fit.

you may not know him---yet, this puppet-stringged boy, who'd want to be free...
the same boy who--- from afar admires you, this same boy would be... me.

Per iL Mio Muse

2006-09-13T11:16:00.000+08:00

i fell for The Boy that's on TV

i am, by nature, not a man of plans...
my datebook, as wide open as a right fielder...
yet, even now i try to fill it with the hypothetical you...
to pencil you in or whatever.
the Jennifer Paige on you...

Per iL Mio Muse (a Trilogy)

2006-09-13T11:06:00.000+08:00

i...

i wish you could'a seen me today.
i wish you'd remember me too.
i wish i had the balls to ask you out.
i wish i knew what to do...

ii...

i am technically looking up
at the same sky as you...
but, i will never get to know you like they do...
this is my "once upon a time"...
and i know not when again
your eyes shall meet mine.

iii...

i was an angel in the outfield today...
swung by and dropped a song on love...
you were there without yourself...
only a trace of you,
like book marks on a shelf...
i hope you saw me, as i sped through
and really did see...
how my fondness of you
brought me home from my misery.

Cerulean Lecture

2006-09-06T03:41:00.001+08:00

This, STUFF? Owh! Okay... I see... You think this has nothing to do with you. You, go to your closet and you select *I dunno* that lumpy blue sweater for instance, because you're trying to tell the world that you take yourself too seriously to care about what you put on your back... but, what you don't know is that, that sweater is not just blue, it's not turquoise, it's not lapis... it's actually cerulean. And you're also blindly unaware of the fact that in 2002, Oscar Dela Renta did a collection of cerulean gowns and then, I think it was Yves Saint Laurent, *wasn't it?* who showed cerulean military jackets... *I think we need a jacket here* and then cerulean quickly showed up in the collections of 8 different designers... and then it filtered down through the department stores... and then trickled on down into some tragic, casual corner, where you *no doubt* fished it out of some clearance bin. However, that blue represents millions of dollars and countless jobs... and it's sort of comical how you think that you've made a choice that exempts you from the fashion industry, when in fact, you're wearing a sweater that was selected for you by the people in this room... from a pile of STUFF!

Twisted Pinocchio...

2006-08-29T01:26:00.000+08:00

i want to be a real boy...
again.

i... supposedly, miss you.

2006-08-29T01:20:00.000+08:00

sometimes, we say "i don't know", "maybe", or even a flat "no" when what we really mean is, "yes! but first, le'mme clean my act up... so, please hold that thought & i'll be right with ya, ASAP." it's not exactly a FedEx sales pitch, but it's a work in progress if i do say so myself.

have you ever had that amazing connection (spark -even!) with a certain someone and you just knew right in your guts that you'll be happy with that person, but for reasons beyond your control, it just wasn't a good time and/or words just got (or did not get) in the way?

why can't we just say what we mean and mean what we say? when back in the caveman days, all it took were badly drawn stick people and what pretty much looked like a wild boar to say, "the hunt is on"... maybe it is better that we draw monochromatic pictures on walls when communicating... after all, a picture is worth a thousand words and that should pretty much say a lot.

but what good is a thousand or even two thousand of these words if you don't mean them? probably worth as much as a Mona Lisa postcard in a bookstore. that's her alright... the smile, hues, sfumato, and all. but the magic of that mysterious smile... the awe and wonder of being in the presence of the real Mona Lisa... is not there. much like the words, "i miss you" that are dropped out of routine or habitual response.

it is, however, pardonable... we're programmed that way. non-physical contact for varying lengths of time deemed relatively long enough by a person triggers an auto-response, i miss you.

as equals...

2006-08-29T01:12:00.001+08:00

this world is filled with much joy to overpower one's depression...
it is, however, complemented with much more woe so as to place one on the fence.

surreal dyad...

2006-08-29T01:06:00.000+08:00

is morning the herald of hope?
i asked...

mornings, the songs of those who look and find hope in them,
was your reply...

to which, i said...
then why do i dread the coming of light?

and you didn't respond...

i turned and walk away, disappointed.

you only dread because you refuse it...
was your resounding answer to my back.

and under my breath, i muttered...
no, it refuses me.

Dear Africa...

2006-08-29T01:04:00.000+08:00

never believe all the negativity you see on television shows, movies, and other media. this world is not festered with hate... nor is it dominated by those whose lust for power have cost them their souls. it is not made up of 2-faced, big-haired, backstabbing, arrogant, pompous, self-serving, sons'a bitches... no no no. heed me well my dear, Africa... it is much worse.

no more...

2006-08-29T01:01:00.000+08:00

now, there is no reason to get up...
none to go through your routine...
not a single thing to look forward to because it is all useless...

useless, from the start...
unlike your stupidity, which has afforded you your silent pain...
it is the irony of your predicament, when preservation has become your own sweet, slow torture...

and breaking free of it, your death sentence.

for you...

2006-08-29T00:58:00.000+08:00

wrapped in my blanket, it crossed my mind...
wondered if you're wrapped in another's arms.
under this twilight, the same as yours...
my thoughts that are yours only, take flight.
you claimed me yours, one to hold and care for...
but you're not here and my heart doesn't live here anymore.

affirming my soul

2006-08-29T00:54:00.000+08:00

i shall not wilt like any flower, a rose...
nor fade like a fallen autumn leaf.

i shall come and go like the ageless wind
and will be as i am while in an endless dream.

hate hate hate...

2006-08-29T00:51:00.000+08:00

i hate it when it rains...
when the world is drenched in nature's tears, overwhelming everything else.

i hate the smell of smoke in the morning...
those stupidass neighbors who think burning leaves and trash actually help the environment... ugh, newsflash you shitheads?!?! NO it doesn't!

i hate loud noises that wake me from my sleep...
like the sound of construction, a marching band, or that stupidass neighbor's scooter's horn; which they always seem to have problems with, hence, the perpetual need to test it... it's not even that nice a scooter!!! it's scrap metal, you stupid fucks!

i hate waking up in the morning, crying...
it makes my eyes puffy, my nostrils snotty, and makes me see my life shitty.

above all else, i hate my heart...
for being my heart.

august is my autumn...

2006-08-29T00:46:00.000+08:00

and one by one, the autumn leaves have now gone...
sweeped are the cares of olden days,
this playground is silent- an empty space.

the hills still sing at sunset, all my sad songs, and a sonnet...
between the hours of sleep and wakefulness,
i await only in stillness.

show me likey!

2006-07-26T13:56:00.000+08:00

take 10 aspiring models...

house 'em all together in South Beach Miami's beachfront...
let the flirtations fly...
as insecurities bubble up to the surface...
and rising stars shine...

take a look behind all the glamour and fame of the beauty industry...
and see that models are people too...

MTV's 8th & Ocean...

info-Blog mode...

2006-07-19T00:27:00.000+08:00

what is Umami?

elementary science speaks of 4 basic tastes... sweet, salty, sour, and bitter. however, with advancing scientific research, a fifth (and even a sixth) basic taste has been recognized.

this is umami. coming from the japanese word, "umami", the kanji characters of which, literally mean "delicious food"...

umami corresponds to the taste sensation produced by the free glutamates commonly found in fermented and aged foods. examples include the following: parmesan and roquefort cheese, soy sauce, and fish sauce.

it is also found in significant amounts in various unfermented foods like walnuts, grapes, broccoli tomatoes, and mushrooms, and to a lesser degree in meat.

there is still much scientific dispute as to whether basic tastes exist per se or are simply an overly reductionist concept, but hey... it's food. it should be all good.

aegis ... A.E.G.I.S.

it would make much sense why the anime, Gate Keepers, has such an acronym for their organization...

in the Iliad, aegis is the shield or buckler of Zeus, which according to Homer, was fashioned for him by Hephaestus, furnished with golden tassels and bearing the gorgon Medusa's head in the center.

also appearing in other literatures such as norse, egyptian, and roman mythologies, the aegis takes several forms and shapes but still symbolizing one thing... a shield.

as well it should, for in modern english, aegis means a shield, protection, or sponsorship, thus derived from Zeus' protective shield.

in the anime universe, A.E.G.I.S. means, Alien Exterminating Global Intercept System... the Earth's first and last line of defense against robotic aliens referred to as, Invaders.

relying on the special abilities of its agents known as Gate Keepers, who have the power to open dimensional gates of paranormal energy, A.E.G.I.S. keeps the world havoc free for mankind.

the Trigram...

a trigram may either refer to the special case of N-grams, having ordered triplets of letters... or it may refer to the ancient Chinese philosophical concept of the Bagua.

the bagua, is a fundamental philosophical concept in ancient China with an octagonal diagram having a trigram on each side.

it is applied not only to the Chinese Taoist thought and the I Ching, but also in other domains of Chinese culture, such as fengshui, navigation, martial arts, and so on.

a popular anime series nowadays has characters utilizing this trigram concept... the Hyuuga clan from Konoha. one gifted Hyuuga gennin in particular, Neji.

in the 3rd Naruto: Narutimate Hero PS2 game, Neji exhibits the Hyuuga clan's most powerful jutsu...

Hakke Sanbyaku Rokujuichi Shiki
(literally meaning, Eight Trigrams Three Hundred Sixty-One Style)

also be interpreted as,
"Divine Three Hundred Sixty-One Strikes"
and "361 Hands of Hakke".

the technique is designed to strike each of the body's 361 tenketsu (chakra holes), directed at a single, humanoid opponent, instantly killing with the final blow.

by concentrating all of the chakra into the 2 palms of the hands, the user will be able to strike each tenketsu precisely, thus, immobilizing an opponent with every hit. being an extreme jutsu on its own, the attacks in this technique are excuted with speed that could match that of the Initial Lotus'.

postcard from the other side

2006-07-19T00:14:00.000+08:00

... should you find yourself in Ever After,
let me know how it tastes...

remind this Messinger of the music,
a sunrise and sunset makes.

send a little sparkle my way,
past the frozen window of my soul...

a teardrop. a Rose. an Apple.
send it!
before time takes its toll.

Queer Query of the Week

2006-07-19T00:10:00.000+08:00

Everything before "i love you" just doesn't count... ?

selfish beach album

2006-07-18T12:39:00.000+08:00

(please note that this is just a personal banner. hehehe!
but the CD cover is pretty much like this one...)

couldn't get over how sweet the vocals sound... especially on one of the tracks...
they like doing remixes of retro songs... and they're good at it!

Love Come Down

Love Is Contagious

Selfish (Stripped In The Beach Mix)

Get These Songs Here

12-Step Recipe for Major D

2006-07-15T06:34:00.000+08:00

1. take any guy in season... preferably attached or a player will do.
2. peal clothes off... and lightly season with flirting.
3. add a couple'a bottles of vodka and wait for buzz...
4. after 10 minutes, fold in 3 hot girls and make out.
5. throw in a couple of guys and stir vigorously...
6. set music on high and dance within the bounds allowed to you...
7. add a pinch of promiscuity, a dash of close proximity, and sprinkle with mutual attraction...
8. pop it all in the makeshift oven of a dancefloor at thickest tension for about half an hour.
9. rotate for even baking... adding a little more booze.
10. turn tension off... and let the stuff gradually cool down in the oven.
11. serve warm... with a lingering taste for new spices.
12. garnish with sweet SMS.

answer...

2006-07-10T16:39:00.000+08:00

I will be the answer at the end of the line
I will be there for you
while you take the time
In the burning of uncertainty
I will be your solid ground
I will hold the balance if you can't look down

If it takes my whole life
I won't break I won't bend
It'll all be worth it
worth it in the end
'Cause I can only tell you what I know
that I need you in my life
When the stars have all gone out
you'll still be burning so bright

Cast me gently into morning
For the night has been unkind
Take me to a place so holy
That I can wash this from my mind
The memory
of choosing not to fight

If it takes a whole life
I won't break I won't bend
It'll all be worth it
worth it in the end
'Cause I can only tell you what I know
That I need you in my life
And when the stars have all burned out
You'll still be burning so bright
Cast me gently into morning
for the night
has been unkind

Get This Song Here

a shot at the brownie...

2006-07-08T23:06:00.000+08:00

been on a diet since high school...
practically starving myself for the past couple'a years...
hooking up with pills to get smaller.
walked away from about 4 relationships...
one of which could'a been forever.
made one other wait until it was too late.
and as if it was the universe's way of making a joke...
everytime i think things would work out with someone,
i'd end up with wellingtons for sunny fresh sunday.
and one day...
not too long from now...
i'll get tired of all this.
i'll consume more than my share of food...
bloat up...
be unemployed...
have nobody to kiss me at night...
and i will become an lonely, jaded, cynical, old fag...
who will be tied to his wheelchair in a nursing home...
reminiscing of what i could have had
when i was in my younger years...
without even so much as a distant relative to visit me.

couldn't help it...

2006-07-06T16:24:00.000+08:00

instructions for SugarBabyLove: set-up your media player...
choose "you don't see me fly into the red..."
then, click play the instant you see the first image...
ahihihi!!!

by Jor-el

2006-07-02T23:21:00.000+08:00

i am not a loss to you,
but neither am i
at a loss because of you.
you are but a ripple,
quickly swallowed by the crashing waves
of my turbulent seas.
the same as i am, by yours.

were i a still pond,
you would reach every corner of mine;
you would distort
every reflection i hide behind;
you would pierce to my depths,
the gloom beneath momentarily dispersed.
but, i am not.

good grief

2006-06-27T00:08:00.000+08:00

i caught myself missing you...
as i stared at the faceless crowd.
eyes so keen to meet yours,
if only time so allowed.
and there you were...
by the door, with a smile, a warm gaze.
even as i sit, i knew there and then,
with weakened knees and a picture of you...
i've fallen.

sage

2006-06-26T23:42:00.000+08:00

Job 38:11

And I said: Hitherto thou shalt come, and shalt go no further, and here thou shalt break thy swelling waves.

aloha e komo mai

2006-06-26T12:42:00.000+08:00

Iki tooki nee ha
Aka tiki baba
Gaba ika tasooba
Oocha
Chika
Miki miki coconut

Get This Song Here

breakin' free (from Disney's high school musical)

2006-06-26T12:40:00.000+08:00

we’re soarin’, flyin’
there’s not a star in heaven
that we can’t reach

if we’re trying
so we’re breaking free

you know the world can see us
in a way that’s different than who we are

creating space between us
‘til we’re separate hearts

but your faith it gives me strength
strength to believe

we’re breakin’ free
we’re soarin’
flyin’
there’s not a star in heaven
that we can’t reach
if we’re trying
yeah, we’re breaking free
oh, we’re breakin’ free
ohhhh

can you feel it building
like a wave the ocean just can’t control
connected by a feeling
ohhh, in our very souls
rising ‘til it lifts us up
so every one can see

we’re breakin’ free
we’re soarin’
flyin’
there’s not a star in heaven
that we can’t reach
if we’re trying
yeah we’re breaking free
ohhhh runnin’
climbin’
to get to that place
to be all that we can be
now’s the time
so we’re breaking free
we’re breaking free
ohhh , yeah

more than hope
more than faith
this is true
this is fate
and together

we see it comin’
more than you
more than me

not a want, but a need
both of us breakin’ free

soarin’
flyin’
there’s not a star in heaven
that we can’t reach
if we’re trying
yeah we’re breaking free
breaking free
were runnin’
ohhhh, climbin’
to get to the place
to be all that we can be
now’s the time
now’s the time
so we’re breaking free
ohhh, we’re breaking free
ohhhh

you know the world can see us
in a way that’s different than who we are

letters to africa

2006-06-20T23:54:00.000+08:00

dear africa,

it's raining again... even in this world, it rains almost incessantly. if i were with you i wouldn't have to worry about rain, and you know how i hate it when it rains. tell me, dear friend... am i bound to drown in the rising tide? or will i swim out of this one?

i wish you didn't have to answer that... and maybe i shouldn't have asked at all.

my kind'a girl

2006-06-20T11:44:00.000+08:00

she could be an angel...

she could be a doll...

or better yet...
a Victoria's Secret Model...

Alessandra Ambrosio...

one of God's loveliest creatures...

a Wonder Woman in her own right...

but a Goddess by nature...

turn me straight why don'tcha?
hehehe!

off the VS 2k5 Fashion Show

2006-06-20T11:39:00.000+08:00

I Like The Way You Move
by Bodyrockers

Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down) Audio Bulleys Remix
by Nancy Sinatra

Get These Songs Here

life or something like it

2006-06-20T11:38:00.000+08:00

it's like riding a carousel... pretty ponies, bright lights, and park benches. no sooner had you opened your eyes in the morning, do you know that it's gonna be routinely depressing... like watching reruns of a bad soap. but you watch it anyways... which is actually quite disturbing, because it raises a 2-fold argument: is it more disturbing to acknowledge the fact that it can be likened to a rerun or the fact that you just sit back and watch it anyways?

walk the line

2006-06-20T11:36:00.000+08:00

the desert is a most treacherous environment... as deceiving as the camel that walks its dunes. for a camel does not show signs of fatigue... it may appear that you can work a camel relentlesly and it will just do as ordered. it will keep on walking and will never seem to tire or wear. but beware... because once driven to exhaustion, it will just drop and shut down. the horse is not like that... it will show its limits and you will know only up to how much you can ask of it and when to let it rest.

query

2006-06-20T11:35:00.000+08:00

is not saying "Yes" the same as saying "No"?

nitpick

2006-06-15T09:57:00.000+08:00

you feel it... and you just know it. that, pretty soon you're gonna have to make a choice. and the lesser of evils is just as bad. did they say it's about the journey and not the destination? how about, just getting there? but, what and where is "there"? lately, i have been asking more questions than what's in the usual "trying to achieve world peace" manual... concerning matters of immediate attention... less there be no world to achieve world peace with. there is a should'a-could'a-would'a marathon for the most part of the day... like an eye--twitching, persistently reminding of past and future.

on a high

2006-06-15T09:17:00.000+08:00

it makes perfect sense to me now... why it's called "on a high". because nothing weighs you down... no questions, no hesitations, no what if's and whatnot. cutting through the crap... no emotional baggage. like any flight you've ever taken... cruising altitude of 35, 000 feet. for the briefest or longest of travel times, at that height, you are literally... high. save the minute percentage of restless/wicked/workaholics, everyone else has left their earthly worries on terra firma. and if the cabin of your plane did not exist (should the laws of physics permit), you'd inhale the freshest of gases and even need not breathe at all. because all that surrounds you is air... pure, intoxicating, euphoric air.
high on a high...

meme time (from joel)

2006-06-09T10:31:00.000+08:00

The rules:
1. The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different descriptions of their perfect lover.
2. He/she needs to mention the sex/gender of their perfect lover.
3. He/she must tag 8 more people to join this game (and leave a comment on their comments saying they've been tagged).
4. If tagged a second time, there's no need to post again.

a Jeff Corwin...

1. accounts for a refreshing sense of humor (well placed, of course). i need the sunshine due to chronic depression... think like a child and let's share the laughter.
2. also, one who teaches without actually having to teach. just show me your world and i will pick up what my own curiosity fancies... preachy doesn't work for me.

a Nate Berkus...

3. one who will make a comfortable space for me... be it in the physical plane or in his life... who'll make me feel at home when i am with him.
4. and it wouldn’t hurt if he were this cute too.

a Rocco Dispirito...

5. feed me passionately. one whom i can work with in the kitchen and probably love chickenjoy as much as i do.

a Rock Lee...

6. be there for me and tell me i'm safe with you... who can just walk by me and be my sword and shield... i will not give up as long as you don't.

a Son Of Man...

7. one who's faceless... someone the world's never seen or heard of before. someone private and probably unknown... who'll choose to stay at home rather than go out. the one who'll keep me grounded. a nobody... that way, i can truly call him my own.

8. and someone who will not only sing for me... but someone i can sing with.

now tagging: superboy, allan, ramde, chicco, zeit, piijii, lolo, brother john

brokeback kind'a way

2006-06-03T08:46:00.000+08:00

with 2 clicks of the icon in my quicklaunch, i await the popping up of the player interface...
pressed the letter "T" on the keyboard...
a little scrolling...
double-click...
this sounds alien to me...
almost as if i couldn't make out the rhythm that was playing... pressed hard against my ears via headphones... and as loud as african tribal drums during a feast may be...
and just as slowly as the uncovering of a clandestine plot, my eyes began to widen... as if finally being enlightened--recognizing this melody.
"oh my Gawd! it is!!!"
giddy... a new addiction... the music that i live for.

The Wings
by Gustavo Santaolalla
(Tony Moran & Rigg Remix)

also available

The Wings
by Gustavo Santaolalla
(Gabriel & Dresden's Oraganized Nature Mix)

point taken...

2006-06-01T00:15:00.000+08:00

hey guy! good point... i checked her out and talk about a striking resemblance!

being O.C.

2006-05-30T01:07:00.000+08:00

here we go... one stop wiki-ternative. hehehe!
okay... first up...

Latios & Latias

these 2 are the guardians of the water city of Altomare (which literally means "high sea" or "high tide" in Italian)

loosely translated from Ratiosu & Ratiasu, they are the only 2 legendary pokemon with defined genders... Latios' demise marks the first actual death of ANY pokemon in the whole North American Franchise...

*************************

Entei

hahaha! in your face jeff! heehee!

Entei is one of 3 Legendary Beasts, and as such, embodies an aspect of nature... in this case, the passion of magma and the ferocity of volcanoes...

*************************

Hatake, Kakashi

apparently, he has never shown his face... EVER! be it in the anime or the manga...

and as discussed, those that can be found online are meticulously made fakes...

this one is from the artbook from Galbadia... nice, yes?!

*************************

Angels & Airwaves

aside from the very catchy band name, their tunes are also quite addictive...

AVA (their abbreviated name with a supposed inverted A in the middle) is an alternative rock supergroup featuring Tom DeLonge (Blink 182 lead vocals & lead guitar), David Kennedy (former Box Car Racer guitarist), Atom Willard (former bassist of The Distillers), and Ryan Sinn (The Offspring drummer)...

the video of their debut single, The Adventure, caught me by surprise because i never expected that Blink 182 would ever come up with a non-juvenile video that did not require individuals with hypothyroidism...

and a song that i'd actually like! but that's just me. hehe!

*************************

Zac Efron

star of Disney Channel's T.V. movie High School Musical... actor-slash-musician...

a definite eye candy...

*************************

Marahute

a "larger than life" , rare, and beautiful golden eagle from the Disney animated film The Rescuers Down Under (1990)...

just add a couple'a more limbs, turn talon into paws, and presto! that's pretty much how Daitona'd look like... and oh! a lion's tail, of course...

*************************

Don Bluth's Thumbelina

Don Bluth was one of Disney's chief animators... with works, including: An American Tail, Land Before Time, All Dogs Go To Heaven, Anastasia, and of course Thumbelina...

released in 1994, Don Bluth's Thumbelina was distributed by Warner Brothers and is one of Bluth's subsequent works... as of this time, i am unsure whether the name of the characters in this feature are from Hans Christian Andersen's original Thumbelina fairy tale as well...

particularly, Thumbelina's love interest, Cornelius, prince of the Fairies...

*************************

Teddy Geiger

american singer and songwriter... first seen in international media as a finalist in VH1's "In Search Of The Partridge Family"... with 2 albums released over the last couple'a years: Step Ladder EP (2005) and Underage Thinking (2006)...

the music video for his debut single (which i saw the other night and instantly loved), For You I Will (Confidence), features Laguna Beach's Kristin Cavallari...

"but tonight i'm not afraid to tell you how i feel about you...
i'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence i have
and cannonball into the water...
i'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence i have...
for you, i will
for you... i will"

~ for you i will (confidence)

"'cause love is a marathon
that's why you get tired so fast of everyone...
slow down and pace yourself,
because when it's good,
it's a long, long open road..."
~ love is a marathon

"so the pencils change to pens,
i just wanna hang out with my friends.
we can give it our all...
time after time,
but it just keeps on getting harder
and getting harder to the touch.
i need the hot and silver sun...
i wanna just let go
with someone to help me survive...
don't you want it?
i've never seen anyone who wants it this bad...
you said games were much more fun,
i'd rather play than get things done
but look where we are now,
well, look where we are now...
you said life happens too fast,
i'd rather play than make it last
but look where we are now, look where we are now."
~ look where we are now

*************************

Storm

as if you haven't heard me yapping about this... so i'll just put it in writing. i just think that Janet Jackson would'a made a more visually resembling Storm... often, when i make this remark, people would point out Halle Berry's thespian skills (with her Academy Award backing her up) in contrast with miss Jackson's...

there're workshops y'know!

(just to make my point... pardon the lousy editing...)
just that... i have always seen Ororo as regal... statuesque... sophisticated. she was worshipped as the "goddess of life" in Kenya's tribes after all.

in the What If comicbooks issue #79, the Alternate Marvel Universe decided to postulate, What If Storm Had The Power Of Phoenix? up until two days ago, i had always thought that this was an official Marvel storyline... heehee!

it would'a been really cool though... but the thing is, as a high school student, i had come across this exact issue in a bookstore and had ever since then acknowledged the fact that Storm will become Phoenix's vessel... anyways...

moving on with life... heehee!

living on chords

2006-05-25T02:46:00.000+08:00

Love Doesn't Have To Hurt (Love To Infinity Extended Mix)
by Atomic Kitten

Don't say You Love Me
by M2M

Out Tonight
from the Rent OST

For You I Will
by Teddy Geiger

Let Me Be Your Wings
from the Thumbelina OST

High
by Lighthouse Family

It Hurts
by Angels And Airwaves

Forever You And Me
by Lighthouse Family

Look Where We Are Now
by Teddy Geiger

Somewhere Over The Rainbow
by Katharine McPhee

Sparkle Me
by The Buffseeds

Safe
by Bonnie Bailey

In My Mind
by Freemasons

The Adventure
by Angels And Airwaves

another me-me

2006-05-19T00:58:00.000+08:00

1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn't make sense. NO CHEATING!
4. Tag 10 people to play this game too.
5. Bold the questions and answers that make sense. (for my purposes, those in yellow...)

How are you feeling today?
Hideaway 2005 (Young Punx Mix)
De'Lacy

Will you get far in life?
Love Forgotten (Ray Roc Latino Soul Mix)
A Man Called Adam

How do your friends see you?
Gone Too Soon
Michael Jackson

Will you get married?
Fragrance
Gackt

What is your best friend's theme song?
Friends Forever
Puffy Ami Yumi

What is the story of your life?
Nothing Can Be Explained
Mike Wyzgowski Bleach Anime OST

What was high school like?
Il Dolce Suono/Diva Dance
The Fifth Element OST

How can you get ahead in life?
Sadness And Sorrow
Toshiro Masuda

What is the best thing about your friends?
You And Me
Vonda Shepard

What is today going to be like?
Amazing Grace
Destiny's Child

What is in store for this weekend?
Moonriver (Instrumental)
Breakfast At Tiffany's OST

What song Describes you?
Phat Beach (Club Mix)
Naughty Boy

To describe your grandparents?
Selfish
Sunset Daze

How is your life going?
Love On My Mind
Freemasons featuring Amanda Wilson

What song will they play at your funeral?
Hideaway 2005 (young Punx Mix)
De'Lacy

How does the world see you?
With You I'm Born Again
Mariah Carey with John Legend

Will you have a happy life?
Movin' Weight Instrumental
CamRon featuring Prodigy

What do your friends really think of you?
The Burning Bush
The Prince Of Egypt OST

Do people secretly lust after you?
Gratification (Hawke Blue Resurrection Mix)
DJ Drunken Monkey

How can I make myself happy?
Swing To Harmony
Perasma

What should you do with your life?
Disco Revenge (2001 Tamperer Club Mix)
Gusto

Will you ever have children?
Ain't No Mountain High Enough
Sister Act 2 OST

man! that was just freaky! kind'a puts things in perspective... especially those ones that fit the question asked... whew!
okay... hope these guys do it... heehee!
Brother John. Karen. Lolo. Superboy. Chris. Vitto. Ramde. Mother Nature. Piijii. Star (*)

for sports... and love...

2006-05-15T23:14:00.000+08:00

It's supposed to be hard!
If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it...
It's the hard that makes it great.

~ Tom Hanks as Jimmy Dugan
A League Of Their Own

for my unknown

2006-05-15T23:12:00.000+08:00

because waiting for you,
is like waiting for rain to fall in this drought...
and wishing for all my dreams to come true.
wanting eagle's wings when earthbound i am and will be...
to remain watching the blue skies above,
when i long for the clouds to touch me.
it's like strangling on spider's web...
all too real... all to weak...
and saying i love you is the only key,
in this game of hide and seek.

highlights

2006-05-15T10:42:00.000+08:00

Nature Boy and The Swimming Tsinelas
Seven Fairies and A Bumblebee
Master and Slave: Dance The Night Away
Erecta: One-Two-Three, Pass-The Beer!
Bakekang and The Beanstalk
Where There's No Smoke, There's No Yosi
Donya and The Frog Prince
When Aruroy Met Aruray
Bakekang and Bakekong: Are You Afraid Of The Dark?

from Maria's diary, just after abandoning the boring book:

2006-05-15T10:35:00.000+08:00

I’ve met a man and fallen in love with him. I allowed myself to fall in love for one simple reason: I’m not expecting anything to come of it. I know that, in three months’ time, I’ll be far away and he’ll be just a memory, but I couldn’t stand living without love any longer; I had reached my limit.

I’m writing a story for Ralf Hart—that’s his name. I’m not sure he’ll come back to the club where I work, but, for the first time in my life, that doesn’t matter. It’s enough just to love him, to be with him in my thoughts and to color this lovely city with his steps, his words, his love. When I leave this country, it will have a face and a name and the memory of a fireplace. Everything else I experienced here, all the difficulties I had to overcome, will be as nothing compared to that memory.

I would like to do for him what he did for me. I’ve been thinking about it a lot, and I realize that I didn’t go into that café by chance; really important meetings are planned by the souls long before the bodies see each other.

Generally speaking, these meetings occur when we reach a limit, when we need to die and be reborn emotionally. These meetings are waiting for us, but more often than not, we avoid them happening. If we are desperate, though, if we have nothing to lose, or if we are full of enthusiasm for life, then the unknown reveals itself, and our universe changes direction.

Everyone knows how to love, because we are all born with that gift. Some people have a natural talent for it, but the majority of us have to re-learn, to remember how to love, and everyone, without exception, needs to burn on the bonfire of past emotions, to relive certain joys and griefs, certain ups and downs, until they can see the connecting thread that exists behind each new encounter; because there is a connecting thread.

And then, our bodies learn to speak the language of the soul, known as sex, and that is what I can give to the man who gave me back my soul, even though he has no idea how important he is in my life. That is what he asked me for and that is what he will have; I want him to be very happy.

~ Eleven Minutes
by Paulo Coelho

a lose-lose situation

2006-05-15T10:00:00.000+08:00

everything's make or break.
i just wanna break... myself... into the tiniest of pieces.
maybe then i'd find silence...
maybe then i'd be content... and maybe i'd be able to realize what it is that i really want.
maybe i shouldn't even be doing this.
maybe i should just shut my pie-hole and resign to what i do best...
disappearing.
how can i lose when i'm not even playing?
that's one of life's cruelest jokes... you make no wager, but you pay regardless.

random twisted thoughts

2006-05-15T09:58:00.000+08:00

i get off on the idea of restraints...
of obstructed, constrained, repressed, and so-close-yet-so-far restraints.

excerpt for loneliness

2006-05-15T09:42:00.000+08:00

Ralf poured himself another whisky and, as if he were making some utterly inconsequential remark, he said:

“I need you.”

A pause. A long silence. Don’t help to break that silence, let’s see what he does next.

“I need you, Maria. Because you have a light, although I don’t really think you believe me yet, and think I’m just trying to seduce you with my words. Don’t ask me: ‘Why me? What’s so special about me?’ There isn’t anything special about you, at least, nothing I can put my finger on. And yet—and here’s the mystery of life—I can’t think of anything else.”

“I wasn’t going to ask you,” she lied.

“If I were looking for an explanation, I would say: the woman in front of me has managed to overcome suffering and to transform it into something positive, something creative, but that doesn’t explain everything.”

It was becoming difficult to escape. He went on:

“And what about me? I have my creativity, I have my paintings, which are sought after by galleries all over the world, I have realized my dream, my village thinks of me as a beloved son, my ex-wives never ask me for alimony or anything like that, I have good health, reasonable looks, everything a man could want… And yet here I am saying to a woman I met in a café and with whom I have spent one afternoon: ‘I need you.’ Do you know what loneliness is?”

“I do.”

“But you don’t know what loneliness is like when you have the chance to be with other people all the time, when you get invitations every night to parties, cocktail parties, opening nights at the theatre… when women are always ringing you up, women who love your work, who say how much they would like to have supper with you—they’re beautiful, intelligent, educated women. But something pushes you away and says: ‘Don’t go. You won’t enjoy yourself. You’ll spend the whole night trying to impress them and squander your energies proving to yourself how you can charm the whole world.’”

~ Eleven Minutes
by Pulo Coelho

always on your side

2006-05-10T06:55:00.000+08:00

my yesterdays are all boxed up
and neatly put away
but every now and then you come to mind
cause you were always waiting to be picked to play the game
but when your name was called,
you found a place to hide
when you knew that i was always on your side

well, everything was easy then,
so sweet and innocent
but my demons and my angels reappeared
leavin' only traces of the man you thought i'd be
to afraid to hear the words i always feared
leavin' you with only questions
all these years

but is there someplace far away,
someplace where all is clear
easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
or are you left to wonder,
all alone, eternally
this isn't how it's really meant to be
no, it isn't how it's really meant to be

well they say that love is in the air,
but never is it clear,
how to pull it close and make it stay
butterflies are free to fly,
and so they fly away
and i'm left to carry on and wonder why
even through it all,
i'm always on your side

but is there someplace far away,
someplace where all is clear
easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
or are you left to wonder,
all alone, eternally
but this isn’t how it's really meant to be
no, it isn’t how it's really meant to be

well, they say that love is in the air,
never is it clear
how to pull it close and make it stay
if butterflies are free to fly, why do they fly away
leavin' me to carry on and wonder why
was it you that kept me wonderin’ through this life
when you know that i was always on your side

Song Of The Week

Always On Your Side
Sheryl Crow featuring Sting

wonderland waning

2006-05-09T01:26:00.000+08:00

maybe winter's overstayed just a tad of a day too long...

just like maria, i think i'll let fate handle most of my affairs, if only for the time being... there are just some things that are better off tuned out. not minded. and half-heartedly felt. i cannot and will not allow myself to succumb to being that which i have the least liking to. and maybe... just maybe... grab a spoon.

an excerpt

2006-05-08T23:37:00.000+08:00

One of the girls said:

”Prostitution isn’t like other businesses: beginners earn more and the more experienced earn less. Always pretend you’re a beginner.”

Maria still didn’t know who the “special clients” were; they had only been mentioned on the first night and no one ever spoke of them. Gradually she picked up the most important tricks of the trade, like never asking personal questions, smiling a lot and talking as little as possible, never arranging to meet anyone outside the club. The most important piece of advice, however, came from a Filipino woman called Nyah:

“When your client comes, you must always groan as if you were having an orgasm too. That guarantees customer loyalty.”

“But why? They’re just paying for their own satisfaction.”

“No, that’s where you’re wrong. A man doesn’t prove he’s a man by getting an erection. He’s only a real man if he can pleasure a woman. And if he can pleasure a prostitute, he’ll think he’s the best lover on the block.”

~ Eleven Minutes
by Paulo Coelho

ergo...

2006-05-08T15:43:00.000+08:00

i promise...
i will never, never... EVER!!!!!!!!!!
again.

me-me from cupkeyk

2006-05-08T14:04:00.000+08:00

The first player of this game starts with the "6 weird things/habits about yourself" and people who get tagged need to write a blog of their 6 weird habits/things, as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says "you are tagged" in their comments and tell them to read yours.

1. I eat potato/corn chips using a fork or a spoon.
2. More often than not, when I write stuff, I have Carrie Bradshaw’s voice inside my head.
3. For me, toothpaste serves more a purpose than just for dental cleaning… it is an excellent alternative for a foot scrub.
4. I watch movies in cinemas, alone… with 2 or more McDonald’s ketchup packets as snacks.
5. Instead of changing channels, I throw my slipper/s towards the TV when whoever’s on annoys me.
6. Is jacking off in front of the mirror weird? (teehee)

says here I hafta tag 6 other people… hmmm… Karen. Brother John. Superboy. Ramde. Piijii. Mother Nature. (heehee! hope they do it…)

from Maria's diary, on the day that she met the Swiss man

2006-05-08T13:02:00.000+08:00

Everything tells me that I am about to make a wrong
decision, but making mistakes is just part of life. What
does the world want of me? Does it want me to take no risks,
to go back where I came from because I didn't
have the courage to say "yes" to life?

I made my first mistake when i was eleven years
old, when that boy asked me if I could lend him a pencil;
since then, I've realized that sometimes you get no
second chance and that it's best to accept the gifts the
world offers you. Of course it's risky, but is the risk
any greater than the chance of the bus that took forty-
eight hours to bring me here having an accident? If I
must be faithful to someone or something, then I
have, first of all, to be faithful to myself. If I'm looking
for true love, I first have to get the mediocre loves
out of my system. The little experience of life I've had
has taught me that no one owns anything, that everything
is an illusion--and that applies to material as
well as spiritual things. Anyone who has lost something
they thought was theirs forever (as has happened
often enough to me already) finally comes to realize
that nothing really belongs to them.

And if nothing belongs to me, then there's no point
wasting my time looking after things that aren't mine;
it's best to live as if today were the first (or last) day of
my life.

~ Eleven Minutes
by Paulo Coelho

from Maria's diary

2006-05-08T13:00:00.000+08:00

When we meet someone and fall in love, we have a
sense that the whole universe is on our side. I saw this
happen today as the sun went down. And yet if something
goes wrong, there is nothing left! No herons, no
distant music, not even the taste of his lips. How is it
possible for the beauty that was there only minutes
before to vanish so quickly?
Life moves very fast. It rushes us from heaven to
hell in a matter of seconds.

~ Eleven Minutes
by Paulo Coelho

Hymn to Isis

2006-05-08T12:55:00.000+08:00

for i am the first and the last
i am the venerated and the despised
i am the prostitute and the saint
i am the wife and the virgin
i am the mother and the daughter
i am the arms of my mother
i am barren and my children are many
i am the married woman and the spinster
i am the woman who gives birth and she
who never procreated
i am the consolation for the pain of birth
i am the wife and the husband
and it was my man who created me
i am the mother of my father
i am the sister of my husband
and he is my rejected son
always respect me
for i am the shameful and the magnificent one

(hymn to Isis, third or fourth century B.C., discovered in Nag Hammadi)

amiss

2006-05-08T00:52:00.000+08:00

so, this is missing you...
unsure if i should or even if i really do.
there've been but a million and one words between us,
add distance & velocity and 3 hours on a bus.
i do not know you... nor you, me.
what of you that allows this boy the reason to be free.

and now i miss you.

i miss you like the sun misses the moon in solstice...
like a flower to a bee,
and true love's first kiss...
i miss you...
like the desert misses the pouring rain.

i miss you without knowing why or how,
reasons irregardless, but i just do.
but, i do not miss whatnots about you...
not your touch, your voice, nor your face.
i only miss you... the wholeness of you.

just and only...
you.

you and me (thanks for this one, vonda shepard)

2006-05-04T01:45:00.000+08:00

part of me wants to break the ice
and part of me wants to leave it exactly how it stands
part of me wants to roll the dice
and part of me wants to leave them curled up in my hands

where they will be safe and no one will know
how i really feel and i'll never be real
and i'll roll with the punches that i'll never feel
and i'll have a heart that no one can steal

it's you and me and you're nowhere to be found
i'm rolling on the ground
it's me and you and i'm nowhere to be found

part of me wants to break these chains
and part of me wants to keep them locked up tight
part of me wants to stop these rains
and part of me wants them to fall all night

fall on my head just to wake me up
anything to drench my half-empty cup
and i'm sorry baby i've had enough
i'm tired of your promises tearing me up

you will be safe and no one will know
how you really feel and you'll never be real
and you'll roll with the punches that you'll never feel
and you'll have a heart that i'll never steal

Songs Of The Week

2006-05-04T01:02:00.000+08:00

the muses must have been generous today...
more than they have in the past, that is...

dateline: the mall @ approximately 19:00...
escalator going to the 2nd level... then familiar lyrics from the pipe in music from mcdonald's.
"tell me that it's over..."
i was like, "jojo?"
but, of course i was wrong...
more of lindsay lohan... this is a remix.
i proceeded to my destination, with a mental note to look up the remix upon arriving home.

dateline: mall cinema @ approximately 21:45...
mission impossible's 3rd installment rolls credits... a catchy theme in the background.
female vocals fade in... a gospel-ish chorus... lots'a rappin'...
i recall, but i am not a hundred percent...
"is this kanye west?"
i would'a stayed 'til the entire credits finish, had the reel operator not cease the projection.
i rose from my seat with another mental note to look the film's soundtrack.

dateline: manor @ approximately 23:15...
online... limewire just finished downloading the 2 mental assignments.
a message on my mobile suggested that i download a particular song off the yousendit.com service.
i proceeded promptly... and i was hearing serendipity.
"ohmypotahinangGAWD! get the music on is fucking GooD! woohoo! like... 'i am Diana of Themyscira, watch me rock this dance floor!' weeee!"
another instant fave... many thanks, joel (cupkeyk).

okay... sans the espionage talk, these 3 will be playing a lot on my iTunes from now.

Over (Full Phatt Remix)
by Lindsay Lohan

Impossible
by Kanye West featuring Twista, Keyshia Cole, and BJ)
from Mission Impossible 3's OST

Get The Music On
by Sophie Monk

twinxclusively yours

2006-05-02T00:08:00.000+08:00

in honor of those who have infected me with such a liking for them...

whoever invented asian twinks should either be executed or hailed ruler of the world... i am drowning in twinks right now. and i came across some quite interesting specimens...
(it has been called to my attention though, that technically, not one of the individuals posted here is a twink. hehehe! let's just call 'em eye candy then. hehehe!)
i call to the witness stand:

Dongwan of Shinhwa

Tae Bin (white shirt) and Se7en (brown shirt)

Tae Bin

Se7en

Nicky Teerakol

and...

the 8th Wonder Of The World...

Won Bin

again...

and again...

and... well, again.

blunt

2006-05-02T00:07:00.000+08:00

"... gay men cover more issues than CNN does..."

homerun... run home

2006-04-30T23:56:00.000+08:00

1, 2, 3 strikes and i'm out...
i shall call it a night and withdraw into my dugout.
watch the waltzing dust as it halts and settles,
throw in all my hopes with the other filthy towels...

this stadium is empty, the crowd- at rest...
but to walk the line with you is far too great a test.
pitches swerved, bases saved,
threw my last ball for you and then i waved...

let the sun set, for today has been kind
i will fly away solo...
leave you and my murcielago behind.

blue skies from patch adams

2006-04-30T23:34:00.000+08:00

i was blue, just as blue as i could be
ev'ry day was a cloudy day for me
then good luck came a-knocking at my door
skies were gray but they're not gray anymore

blue skies smiling at me
nothing but blue skies do i see

bluebirds singing a song
nothing but bluebirds all day long

never saw the sun shining so bright
never saw things going so right
noticing the days hurrying by
when you're in love, my how they fly

blue days, all of them gone
nothing but blue skies from now on

i should care if the wind blows east or west
i should fret if the worst looks like the best
i should mind if they say it can't be true
i should smile, that's exactly what i do

just crossed my mind

2006-04-30T23:29:00.000+08:00

someday, i'll
find happiness.
-an optimist

i'll never
be happy!
-pessimist

i am happy..
-a fool

i am but
a fool.
-a happy man

agree?

happiness for dummies

2006-04-27T15:44:00.000+08:00

so...

what is happiness?

why does almost everyone want to be happy?

"almost"... because there are those who would prefer to wallow in their own sadness. to sulk in their own inabilities to grant themselves something that they yearn for.

this so called "happiness" that they seek.

what is this happiness that is so coveted throughout man's existence? thought to be worth, what for most men define as happiness, well over the whole world's wealth.

is it? does it even come close to that? is it more or less?

too many have spoken of happiness. too many who would give all else to achieve it.

and still... too many who gave all else only to realize that they've traded their happiness for something else.

at least, they came to know what their "happiness" is… upside, huh?

this happiness is overrated.

much too decorated with what we think will make us happy. for that is our concept of happiness.

it is a wish list, if nothing else...

i am no pessimist... nor am i he who drowns himself in his own tears...

i am simply one who seeks... like you.

but for me, happiness is not something. not a grand idea. not a proven postulate of life.

my happiness is simply the opposite of my sadness. to know of something is to know first of its opposite.

this actually works both ways if we lay it out flat like this... but since happiness is much more trivialized, i chose it over sadness.

think happy thoughts...

Song Of The Week

2006-04-27T10:33:00.000+08:00

the moment the intro played in my iTunes, i knew i'm gonna love this song...
it may sound funny, but it kind'a transported me inside the anime, Gate Keepers.
no other song has made me feel so alive and blessed...
none else spoke of me... well, in a sense, that is.
this is euphoria.
majestics followed by a prophet's resounding voice.
the lyrics just liberated me.
is this song playable for a funeral service? hehehehe!

Rise (radio edit)
by Safri Duo featuring Clark Anderson

did you really love me? 
did you really need me? 
or were you just using me? 
or were you just using me?

i never felt so used, i wont go back to you! 
so leave me alone… 
i wasn't good enough, it was never about us! 
so leave me alone… 
alone… alone… so leave me alone.
alone… alone…
come on!

i've had enough of your kiss. 
the touch of your hand, i won't miss... 
i've been wrapped up in all your crazy ways.

i'm caught up in your web of lies. 
gonna cut myself loose and say goodbye… 
bye... bye...

i don't want you…
i don't need you…
i don't want you…

i never felt so used, i wont go back to you! 
so leave me alone… 
i wasn't good enough, it was never about us! 
so leave me alone. 
alone… alone… so leave me alone.
alone… alone… so leave me alone.
hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. 
leave me… leave me... oh yeah!

did you really love me? 
did you really need me? 
or were you just using me?
or were you just using me?

i never felt so used, i wont go back to you! 
so leave me alone… 
i wasn't good enough, it was never about us! 
so leave me alone… 
alone… alone... so leave me alone.
alone (alone). come on (come on).

swimtunes!!!

2006-04-26T16:15:00.000+08:00

Playing Under The Sun

1. ai no corrida [uniting nations featuring laura more]
good ol' feel good music with a touch of retro for your soul!

2. i'll be ready (i'm always here)
hey, it's summer! so sue me... a little (or a lot) beach spirit is in order.

3. friends forever [puffy ami yumi]
ahhh... thank you cartoon network!

4. don't let go (get what you give) [LMC versus new radicals]
just heard this one the other day... very catchy revival!

5. i love you more today than yesterday [goldfinger]
feel good music... 'nuff said.

6. it's you it's me [kaskade]
the beat's all summer if you ask me. perfect for baking under the sun...

7. love generation *extended*
if it's about love, it can't go wrong. summer reggaeton!

8. love's just found me *morjac extended* [the montanas featuring rita campbell]
this is all pink! good for the heart!

9. man in the mirror [hed kandi]
light beat. feel good. it's hed kandi, man!

10. no woman no cry [bob marley]
no beach scene is without the marley...

11. pink life [gyskard]
lay back and listen while facing the sun...

12. seasons of love *eddie baez remix*
another love celebration!

13. selfish [sunset daze]
the subtle beat is perfect for the summer relaxation scene...

14. sunrise *original mix* [simply red]
ditto here!

15. these dreams [nadege]
for when your limbs are tired from wallowing in the crystal waters...

16. unwritten [natasha bedingfield]
a tune to start a summer day... think, gearing up while this is playing.

17. walk away [kelly clarkson]
pop in the beach...

18. watchin' [freemasons]
a darker mood for the light and bubbly.

19. first time *club mix* [offer nissim featuring maya]
sing along with the "yeah's"... and shadow dance!

20. free *speed garage mix* [ultra nate]
like the title suggests...

21. everywhere [moustache club]
a subtler rendition of bonnie's hit... think, candies and picnic.

22. going home [shiro sagisu]
for retiring at the end of the day.

23. revelation *piano* [gensomaden saiyuki]
likewise...

24. selfish *jeffrey baja remix* [sunset daze]
a pumped up version... more dance-able!

25. alone *original vocal mix* [offer nissim featuring maya]
mood's dark... for when you've had tee many martoonies.

26. rise (leave me alone) *radio* [safri duo featuring clark anderson]
this just takes the entire cake! i am currently worshipping this song!

27. give it away [deepest blue]
there's actually a faster version... but this one's alright too.

not so extended...

2006-04-20T22:57:00.000+08:00

contrary to what this one suggests, it's actually shorter than the previous composite... hehehe!

this one's got Pink Life, Love Generation, and Ai No Corrida...

"To bring back smiles when there's none left to give..."

free huh?

2006-04-19T10:16:00.000+08:00

they say...
"The Best Things In Life Are FREE"...
then how come HAPPINESS is so hard to acquire?

Go Figure!!!
if it's free, they've probably ran out of the stuff ages ago!

hohoho! merry christmas!

fools rush in

2006-04-19T10:09:00.000+08:00

just crossed my mind:

someday, i'll
find happiness.
-an optimist

i'll never
be happy!
-pessimist

i am happy..
-a fool

i am but
a fool.
-a happy man

so sue me... i'm not a morning person, but it seems mornings have a way of revealing a part of the truth that we all seek. oh well... back to bed.

for my beach loving family...

2006-04-18T19:12:00.000+08:00

if you don't wanna click on one picture at a time... just watch this... hehehe! please wait 'til the song finishes... alrighty? hehehehe! love yah guys!!! mwah mwah!!!

Selfish

2006-04-16T16:25:00.000+08:00

Today in History

2006-04-11T17:06:00.000+08:00

April 15... the 105th day of the year in the Gregorian calendar (106th in leap years)

today in history:
1865 - Abraham Lincoln dies after being shot the previous evening by John Wilkes Booth

1923 - insulin first became generally available for use by diabetics

1955 - the first ever McDonald's restaurant opens in Des Plaines, Illinois

1983 - Tokyo Disneyland opens

1452 - Leonardo da Vinci is born

1959 - Emma Thompson, born

1990 - Emma Watson, born

food for thought...

2006-04-11T15:38:00.000+08:00

when we make mistakes... we automatically wish we'd never made them... we'd wish we could go back in time and not slip up... a thousand and one heartaches and regrets that we air for everyone to know. but what if that mistake will actually make you a better person? what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, right? would you still rather not have made it? sliding doors, yes. will it have been all the same without the disgrace of a forlorn choice made? but you'll never know, really... every simulation and critique. mistakes often come with consequences... with justification and punishment. but no matter how big a bubu you make, however grave the outcome... sometimes, mistakes are more than just mistakes... they're lessons in disguise too...

for michael

2006-04-11T01:22:00.000+08:00

my dearest Rock Lee,

happy birthday to you!
you are and will always be my bestfriend...
remember that dream i told you about? the one where i only had to call your name and you saved me from all the chaos that engulfs me. my faith in you will never fade...
you're still a few days older! hahahaha! and that will never change. ever! deal with it!
you'll always be my hero...

your Ninja Turtle

a fairy's tale come true...

2006-04-11T01:00:00.000+08:00

everyone has a fairy tale...
we all may be living it now...
or we're still writing it.

but there are fairy tales handed down from generation to generation and will forever be the standards for our own little happily ever afters...
but what if we take the "fairy" out of the fairy tale and make our own stories come true?
here are some fairy tales with a twist of pink...

Cinderella

Beauty and The Beast

Pinocchio

Snow White

The Little Mermaid

Alice in Wonderland

Little Red Riding Hood

The Wizard of Oz

artwork credits go to dronio
click to check his webpage...

on Bleach

2006-04-11T00:07:00.000+08:00

meet Ichigo Kurosaki...
a 15-year-old Japanese high school student with natural orange hair.

tough as steel, Ichigo always has his eyebrow furrowed and his lips in a scowl... but actually, he's as kind as they come and will go through anything for a family member or friend.

a gifted young man, Ichigo (whose name actually means "strawberry" in Japanese) has a tremendous amount of spiritual power in him and this allows him to see beings from the spiritual world.

this power also changed his life forever after his encounter with a Shinigami (Death God), as he becomes a Shinigami himself.

Rukia Kuchiki,an unseated Shinigami from Soul Society's (corresponds to the spiritual world or heaven) 13th Division, was drained of her Death God powers when she sought Ichigo's help during a battle with a Hollow (evil spirit).

being badly wounded, she takes the desperate measure of lending half of her powers to Ichigo. however, Ichigo fully absorbs Rukia's powers; add to that, Ichigo's own spiritual powers (or "reiatsu") being tapped into, resulting in an unprecedented, above-average, human, Shinigami.
as evidence, Ichigo wields a big-ass Zanpakutou ("Soul Slayer") which is a Shinigami's standard weapon; often resembling a Japanese katana or samurai sword, the size/form of a Death God's Zanpakutou corresponds to the amount of Reiatsu its wielder has.

together, Ichigo and Rukia stop evil dead on its tracks, no pun intended. they come face to face with numerous adversaries, with each opponent stronger than the last.

this is their story... the ancient battle of good and evil, or is it more complicated than that? to find out, watch Bleach... another rocking anime series that ought'a pump yer imagination and teach you a thing or two about life's basic philosophies along the way.

the truth about shooting stars

2006-03-30T03:13:00.000+08:00

for the briefest moment possible, it catches our attention. after all, "movement" is the second variable that attracts our eyes. a shooting star, by scientific viewpoint, is no more than a piece of space debris that experiences combustion due to the velocity and multitude of gaseous elements in the earth's atmosphere upon entry. also called a meteor or meteoroid, it is not to be confused with other heavenly bodies such as comets and asteroids. if a meteor survives its transit in the atmosphere and comes to rest on the ground, the resulting object is called a meteorite; whether it produces an impact crater or not, is subject to the amount of force it strikes the earth with.

so, what is the big fuss about shooting stars (or falling stars)?

subject for consideration, is the frequency that such atmospheric phenomenon is witnessed by the human eye; other than that, frequency alone of such entries are well over a hundred per day.

once again, literature has infused a pure scientific phenomenon with emotions and allegory enough to last 'til the earth itself is no more. at the risk of sounding anti-romantic, shooting stars (henceforth) will never make anyone’s wish come true. don’t get me wrong though… i have had my own share of uttering the first thing i could think of whenever i see a shooting star, and usually it comes out as “wow”, “look”, or “waaa”, so there’s not much to expect from there. but, i just got the thinking the other night… why oh why do people almost always use the phrase, “wish upon a falling star”?

people… ordinary people… wish for something extraordinary to happen in their lives. whether it be a dream getaway, a million dollars, or being swept off their feet by their perfect someone, the longing is there… in each and every person’s heart. so, why am i yapping about shooting/falling stars in the first place? point… frequency. it is (an almost) rare opportunity to see a shooting star… and i have this conviction that the earliest of men (and women) decided to wish upon them because they want a piece of that rarity in their lives to happen. life’s hard enough as it is… wishing is for free. not everyone gets to fulfill their dreams… not everyone ends up with a happily ever after in their lives. (almost) rare is it that we come to see, hear, or even experience our ultimate dreams come to reality. wishing for that earthbound rarity to come into our lives whenever we see a shooting star, we are reminded that it is not impossible for our dreams to come true… rare but not impossible. the human spirit may be unbreakable… but its resolve is not firm. the wonderment of that single streak of light racing across the velvet sky is, at most, enough to awaken one’s inner child and in the process, make one’s resolve a little more firm.

When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires will come to you

If your heart is in your dreams, no request is too extreme
When you wish upon a star as dreamers do

(Fate is kind, she brings to those who love
The sweet fulfillment of their secret longing)

Like a bolt out of the blue, fate steps in and sees you thru
When you wish upon a star, your dreams come true

so, the next time a shooting star catches your eye, don’t feel bad if you don’t get to make a wish… after all, the power to make that wish come true is within you and not out there in space.

-- for all who wished with all their heart

another excerpt

2006-03-29T22:50:00.000+08:00

"Someday, look in Akbar's library for what i wrote for you. It's called The Manual of the Warrior of Light."

"Am I a warrior of light?" replied the boy.

"Do you know what my name is?" asked Elijah.

"Liberation."

"Sit here beside me," said Elijah, pointing to a rock. "I cannot forget my name. I must continue with my task, even if at this moment all I desire is to be at your side. That was why Akbar was rebuilt, to teach us that it is necessary to go onward, however difficult it may appear."

"You're going away."

"How do you know?" he asked, surprised.

"I wrote it on a tablet, last night. Something told me; it may have been my mother, or an angel. But I already felt it in my heart."

Elijah caressed the boy's head.

"You have learned to react to God's will," he said contentedly. "So there's nothing that I need to explain to you."

"What I read was the sadness in your eyes. It wasn't difficult. Other friends of mine noticed it too."

"This sadness you read in my eyes is a part of my story. Only a small part that will last but a few days. Tomorrow, when I depart for Jerusalem, it will not have the strength it had before, and little by little it will disappear. Sadness does not last forever when we walk in the direction that we always desired."

"Is it always necessary to leave?"

"It's always necessary to know when a stage of one's life has ended. If you cling on to it after the need has passed, you will lose the joy and the meaning of the rest. And you risk being shaken to your senses by God."

"The Lord is stern."

"Only with those He has chosen."

-- The Fifth Mountain
by Paulo Coelho

an excerpt

2006-03-29T22:42:00.000+08:00

that night, a man entered Jacob's tent and wrestled with him until the break of day.
and he saw that he prevailed not against him, he said, "Let me go."

Jacob answered, "I will not let thee go, except thou bless me."

then the man said to him: "As a prince, hast thou power with God and with men, and hast prevailed. What is thy name?"
and he said, Jacob.

and the man answered: "Thy name shall be called no more Jacob, but Israel."

Elijah awoke with a a start and looked at the firmament. that was the story that was missing!

long ago, the patriarch Jacob had encamped, and during the night, someone had entered his tent and wrestled with him until daybreak. Jacob accepted the combat, even knowing that his adversary was the Lord. at morning, he had still not been defeated; and the combat ceased only when God agreed to bless him.

the story had been transmitted from generation to generation so that no one could forget: sometimes it was necessary to struggle with God. every human being at some time had tragedy enter his life; it might be the destruction of a city, the death of a son, an unproved accusation, a sickness that left one lame forever. at that moment, God challenged one to confront Him and to answer His question: "Why dost thou cling fast to an existence so short and so filled with suffering? What is the meaning of thy struggle?"

-- The Fifth Mountain
by Paulo Coelho

early April fool's

2006-03-27T01:29:00.000+08:00

we never did play cards
nor did we break other’s hearts
we had our chances
and our own romances
but none of them were ever heartless dances

it’s said, “let he who has not erred cast the first stone”
i am not that person, nor am i alone
but words are all i have, even if they be all to myself
to beg the question that needs no answer
i’d hope to find in the books on my shelf

we’re both too old to be stupid, my friend
and we never did see this’d happen in the end
we thought we’re learned, experienced, not naïve
save the wildest things our minds could achieve

i guess…
destiny thought it’d be funny,
eagle-eye vision and all, stealth, and a jamboree.
but it’s not. it will not. not ever be.
my friend…
the joke was on you and me.

for the geek goddess' mentor

gone with the wind

2006-03-27T00:55:00.000+08:00

and one by one, the autumn leaves have now gone...
sweeped are the cares of olden days,
this playground is silent- an empty space.

the hills still sing at sunset, all my sad songs and a sonnet...
between the hours of sleep and wakefulness,
i await only in the din of stillness.

Fab.Fame.Fortune

2006-03-22T13:20:00.000+08:00

grudge match...

2006-03-22T13:14:00.000+08:00

you fight... why?

because, i want to protect something.

shouldn't you fight only for yourself?

that's selfish!

stupid fool!!! you have to fight for yourself! because if you don't, you will not grow. and you can't protect someone if you don't grow... it will be like a knife without an edge. do not indulge yourself in the ideals of fighting for someone, because that will only get them killed. let yourself grow with each victory, with each battle won... it is the only way that you can continue to protect what you chose to protect.

then draw your sword!

rants...

2006-03-22T13:13:00.000+08:00

... and old man Zangetsu said, "Find me before this world fully crumbles."

how do you find a solution to the world's problems? ambitious decadent philistine!!! you cannot! do not be so full of yourself! for there exists no such thing... no matter what you do or what you say, no matter how you try, no matter how many lives sacrificed... it's impossible! you cannot save the world! you are just trying to be a hero in everyone's eyes! you cannot say that you'll save the world even if it kills you, because that is just plain selfish! you are not thinking of those you will be leaving behind!!! you don't have to save the world! but you can protect just one thing! just one thing... and that will be enough. protect... and live, so you can continue to protect that which you have chosen to protect.

(i seriously have to lay off the animés for a while... i'm beginning to sound like a whiny supporting character)